I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
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hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
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i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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