im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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