Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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