new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
