i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
