I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
