He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
