my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
