i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Less talking, more tequila
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
