marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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