You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
