I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
that is very illegal...i love you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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