I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Two words: blizzard sex
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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