I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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