I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize