in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
