I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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