I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
