Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
