You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
