I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
