So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
