Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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