She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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