he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
