ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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