been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
