I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
