everyone is single if you try hard enough
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
