I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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