Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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