sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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