I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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