I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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