Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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