I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
