i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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