Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
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...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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