did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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