ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
