Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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