it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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