Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
