don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize