I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
