whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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