my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
