i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize