I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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