you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Randomize
