Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
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I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i've created a new STD.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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