I think scott just propositioned me for sex
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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