Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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