Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize