Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
