I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
