i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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