normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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