Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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