Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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