I'm really into asian looking animals
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
