we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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