Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
