I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize